Saturday, March 20, 2010

I love my in-laws but I miss my Butterbean

I've heard the horror stories of people not getting along with their in-laws, especially the MIL. But I was blessed with my husband's folks. I was more sure I wanted them to be my in-laws than I was about marrying him! My daughter is light of their lives. I rarely have to spend my own money for all the things my MIL and mother buy her. I even have to hide clothes and gifts when I think they are overdoing it so I can spread the gifts throughout the year. She has Christmas gifts in the basement that she hasn't opened yet! They are a sweet pair and want to see her often and I am lucky that they live about 30 min away. Sometimes they offer to watch her for the weekend. Things have been so hectic since I started my business 6 months ago, it allows for me to catch up on house cleaning, blogging, and business stuff. I guess I take it for granted because when I mention this to other moms I know, they tell me how lucky I am get a break. So, I dropped her off yesterday which allowed me to work on my word mural at the store (on a future post I promise), clean 2 bathrooms completely, shower, give myself a mani/pedi (long overdue), and cook what I wanted for dinner (broiled talapia and a yummy salad with pesto italian dressing). So I'm home alone on this Saturday night. It's so quiet and empty feeling in the house. I should be enjoying this but I'd prefer knowing she was asleep upstairs.

I guess I unconsciously selected to practice "Attachment Parenting" when I became a mommy. How can you not when you are breastfeeding? My daughter (AKA Butterbean among many other nicknames) is very attached to me. I went back to work for about 8 months after she was born. My husband works at night so he stayed home with her. It was very hard for me to be away. I would come home and he would tell me all the things she/they had done during the day. I must admit I felt a little left out. But when I was laid off from said job in March 2009, it was the Mommy & Butterbean show again. My husband gladly handed over the reigns for me to be the main caregiver. Now that she is getting older, I see the need for her to interact with other kids. She needs to socialize and learn to share. We take her to the park or during the winter months we went to the play area in the mall. (I'll save my germaphobe issues about public play areas for another post). I'm not OCD or anything. Far from it! My house it a mess most of the time. But when the H1N1 epidemic happened we put off daycare and now that it's spring, I don't have much of an excuse other than saving money by keeping her home. Don't get me wrong, saving money is a great reason to home school (among others). Does anyone that homeschools a single child have suggestions for teaching social skills? I'm not outgoing enough to start my own playgroup and now that I'll be running the store I won't have time. I know the hubby won't go to a playgroup with strangers. Unless there is a Daddy-only play group? Sometimes she would just stand and observe the other children like she was a scientist studying lab mice. She analyzed their behavior and interactions as if they were a foreign species. Kids would push her out of the way to get to the obstacles and tunnels and she was perplexed. The more we went, the more she warmed up to the other children. But sometimes they were rude when she offered a hug or said hello. They would ignore her or pull away. My heart ached but I did not interfere. She handled it well and continued playing.

My husband is going to become the caregiver again when my boutique opens in a few weeks. I'm fearful of how this transition will go. She's been pretty good when I have explained that "Mommy has to go to work" and leave for a few hours. But she asks about me the whole time I'm gone and says "I want to go see Mommy" to her dad. I'll be open 10am-4pm on Mon-Sat. I tell myself "it's only 6 hours" and I hope she'll adjust quickly. If not, we'll look into daycare a few days a week maybe.

1 comment:

  1. What about adbertising local get together swaps once a month or so with coffee and snaxks right at the store for parents and kids??

    Wow that was a run on! But seriously it would benefit the store and your daughter!