***Updated 10/16/10: I have learned of an excellent book entitled "Thank God I'm Natural" and accompanying site that you may find useful. And I must share this Sesame Street clip celebrating a puppets love of her natural and versatile hair. Super cute and empowering for youngins'.
I have thick, curly hair that my mother didn't know how to style. I would cry when she brushed or combed it. When I was 5 yrs old she took me for a hair trimming and the hairdresser cut my hair wet. The hair may have been 8-10 inches long but it curled up into an afro. I was teased at school and I've been doing my own hair since then!

My other suggestions: Never BRUSH curly hair, use a wide tooth comb or ventilated brush with stiff, spaced out prongs (not a sable or smoothing brush) to comb out tangles in the shower while hair has shampoo lathered in. Condition, rinse, and squeeze out excess water. Pat dry and apply leave in conditioner and run fingers through the hair. Or comb again if you have to. Let air dry or use a low setting on hair dryer.
For a tamed style, use your hands to section off sections of about 1 square inch or more (while still wet with leave-in conditioner) and twist in one direction starting at the root to create a tight coil and twirls the ends around your finger. You should be left with a "shirley temple" effect. Let air dry. Always avoid combing or brushing dry curls! This will cause breakage and frizz.
In 2010, I began designing a t-shirt line with my best friend who hosts Naturally Flyy Natural Hair Meetups in Detroit, MI. Here is a link to her Etsy store "Ettaflyy".